#87 was twenty-six, tall and French and quirky, with features that could be described as chiselled. Another person I met through the LGBT society at uni. He had a boyfriend back in France but I forget what happened, whether they broke up or were non-monogamous or if it was just all really complicated or what. We kissed briefly at #84’s party but I think I told him he tasted of cheese & onion crisps, and focused my attention on #85 instead. I think #87 and #86 subsequently went on a road trip together but I don’t remember the details of what I think was a short-lived relationship.

Later in the summer, #87 cooked dinner at his place for myself and #28. I had kind of a hunch that he was maybe interested in me, but mostly I assumed he was interested in #28, because everybody was. But there were a couple of times he seemed to maybe look at me in a certain way, and after dinner, when we went to the pub, we started kissing. I took him home with me. I remember the shift from friendship to sex felt a little weird, and I was trying to be more sophisticated and confident than I really felt. I assumed he had more experience than I did of relationships, sex, and life in general. #87 was only four years older than me, but I kind of felt like he was a proper adult. (I still feel like pretty much everyone besides me is a proper adult. The other day I realised that I’m basically a 15-year-old with a mortgage. There’s a bunch of evidence for this, not least that I’m irresponsible, drink like a fish, dress like a teenage boy, and still think it’s cool to accumulate hickeys.)

I remember #59 was annoyed when I told her about #87 the next night, because I was seeing #81 and she reckoned this was wrong for me to do. The whole non-monogamy thing continued to bother people I wasn’t actually going out with. Anyway, nothing happened between me and #87 after that, but we remained friends. I guess we lost touch sometime after he left Edinburgh and I moved in with #117. It would be lovely to be in contact again, but I don’t know how to make that happen.


~ by Nine on 16 February 2009.

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