My friend Jamie had set up a group called Intercourse: Talking Sex, and asked me to go to a new members’ meeting in his place and greet anyone new who showed up. #100 and his friend were among the newcomers. I developed a crush pretty much instantly. Also, it was clear that we were perfect for each other, because we both had funny names and we were both trying to get over exes who had funny names.
#100 and his friend came round to my flat not long after that and we drank a lot and #98 dyed my hair green again. Then I washed my hair at least three times because I was so drunk I forgot I’d done it already – I still wonder how I never noticed it was wet. I kissed #100 and then blithered something at him about how we should do this some more. I mean, that’s what I assume I said. I never found out, but I gathered from the lack of this happening again that he wasn’t interested. We did hang out a few more times, and never spoke of that incident.
This actually turned out to be for the best. I ran into him recently and oh my god he is awful. He has this whole smug thing going on and I find him obnoxious. Especially when he says things like “I’d rather be in a cunt than be a cunt.” Oh just fuck off, and also, too late.