I met #127 at a queer indie club in Belfast. We didn’t have any such thing in Edinburgh at that point, and I was way impressed by it. #41 was DJing, so the place was in good hands.

Just before closing time, I spotted #127 and aimed for her. I was gaining confidence in just going and introducing myself to complete strangers and seeing where it took me. I mean, the strategy generally seemed to work well, and if it ever didn’t, well, no great loss. We seemed to be conversing fine until all of a sudden this 20-year-old straightboy materialised next to us. He hadn’t been at the club; he’d only walked in the door just now because, like, lesbians were a novelty.

This is the kind of person I have zero patience for. But on the other hand, I was playing things by ear and #127 seemed content to engage with him, and who was I to argue with that? She invited me back to her place with a couple of her friends, but the boy tagged along too. Nothing made any sense. I didn’t feel particularly drunk, but I was in some unknown part of Belfast with a bunch of people I’d never met before, and this kid was looking for a seminar on how lesbians have sex, and also he was stunned when I objected to his using the word ‘chinky’. I texted Joanna.

r u still up? i don’t know if i’ve pulled or been eclipsed by a REALLY FUCKING STUPID straightboy

He left eventually – under duress, when somebody more mild-mannered than me decided they’d had enough too – and soon it was just me and #127 and #126. #126 shoved us into the bedroom together, switched off the light, and closed the door on her way out. Suave! I was attracted to #127 – that was the whole goddamn point of talking to her in the first place – but she had given me absolutely no signals whatsoever, and I wanted to see some evidence that kissing her wouldn’t be unwanted and awful. So I didn’t do anything.

And then, not so long after that, #126 got off with me. And then, finally, after #126 had left the room and #127 was still sitting on the bed next to me, I thought, what the hell, and kissed her. And she didn’t stop me, and I guess she was into it? But I was still getting no signals and this felt weird. I didn’t really know what I was doing here or whether things were supposed to get a whole lot more complicated upon #126’s return, and I figured enough was enough. I asked her to call me a taxi, and I headed to Joanna’s. #127 did give me her e-mail address and phone number, and sent me a text a couple of days later, but I didn’t really know what to make of the whole thing, and plus I was no longer in Belfast to follow it up, so I didn’t keep in touch.


~ by Nine on 19 May 2009.

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