I first met up with #166 because she was selling a spare ticket for the MirrorMask premiere and also she wanted a copy of my zine. I ran into her on the queer scene a few nights later and discovered we had mutual friends. I had just been whining to Leonard about how I could never meet girls, so of course action duly ensued; it was one of those rare occasions on which I inflicted hickeys on someone else as well as gaining them myself.

I had a few dates with her after that, and to my surprise I didn’t find myself trying to weasel out of them, which is generally how these things go. Still, it wasn’t long before I turned up with blatant hickeys inflicted by #168 instead, and we’d had some sort of discussion about non-monogamy but we’d both been drunk and I couldn’t remember how it had gone, and in general I just didn’t have a clue. And I was also pretty anti-suave – even once we’d established a track record, sometimes I wasn’t sure whether I should make a move, like one night I just avoided the issue all evening and didn’t kiss her until we’d actually made it into bed.

And the other thing was that one morning, I woke up crying from a dream about my mum. It had been about ten weeks since her death. #166 was next to me, I guess she was still asleep. I felt weird about it, and for several months I was afraid to spend the night with anyone in case I woke up feeling that way again. It made me realise that although I didn’t always know who to turn to, I didn’t want to start at the beginning with someone right then.

So that, at least from my standpoint, is why things kind of fizzled out. One night, when we were all at a party, Leonard took me aside and told me rather solemnly that #166 was “a keeper”. He’d never said this sort of thing about anyone else I’d been seeing, and I agreed that I would not let this opportunity go. And then he and I ditched the party to go to another one with the CAFDAB boys.

I mean, I don’t know how she felt about it, but I think things turned out for the best. Like, I made a pass at her a couple months later at a party full of art students, and she politely declined, and nowadays she’s going out with an old friend of mine and they seem rather besotted with each other. So it’s all good.


~ by Nine on 17 September 2009.

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