CAFDAB was Leonard’s acronym for Cute As Fuck, Dumb As Bricks. The main recipients of the title were a bunch of gay boys he never managed to get off with; it seemed like an uncharitable assessment of their intellect, but we took secret delight in using the term.
One night, Leonard and I were quite drunk at a club when I spotted one of them across the dancefloor. “Hey Leonard, there’s that CAFDAB boy who blanked me in the street the other day,” I exclaimed, pointing frantically because it was important.
“Well you should go over there and slap him!” Leonard advised, reasoning that no matter how drunk I was, I wouldn’t take his advice on that.
“Really? Do you think I should?”
So I walked straight up to #169 and snogged him, because I misheard Leonard. I guess it kind of startled him, and it ensured he was no longer oblivious to my existence. Plus, later that evening he encountered me on the stairs and blurted, “You kiss like a goddess!”, and I wouldn’t have minded if he’d said that a bit louder.