Your Questions Answered

Who are you?

I’m Nine. I’m from Northern Ireland, and I live in Scotland Malaysia. I make zines.

What’s going on here?

In spite of behaving like the anti-suave (stick around, you’ll see what I mean), I’ve kissed a lot of people. I mean, lots of people have kissed a lot of people, so that’s no big deal, but I kind of prefer to remember who they all were.

And so I decided to embark on the task of chronicling them all. This is happening in chronological order, or as close to it as I can possibly manage.

How do you manage to remember all these people?

I used to keep a list, but lost it a long time ago. I’ve been writing diaries, blogs and memoir stuff fairly regularly for many years, though, so I compiled a new list by working through the information I could find in them – and to justify the exercise, I started this blog.

I’m pretty good at remembering where and when these things happened, even though I’d have trouble telling you what I did two weeks ago. I guess I always found making out with people to be reasonably significant, even when it was just drunken opportunism. My memories of teenage and adult life tend to be filtered through who I was getting off with, what music I was listening to, and where I travelled to.

What’s the point?

The thing is, it’s about more than just formulaic instances of ‘make drunken pass at someone, obliterate self with alcohol, move on’. It’s about teen angst and formative experiences and unrealistic expectations and heartbreak; it’s about discovering alcohol and going to gigs; it’s about moving home and travelling; it’s about sidewalk sales and spin-the-bottle and poor decision-making; it’s about falling in love and cheating on people and non-monogamy and scandal. That’s why I want to remember everybody, even though my feelings about the individuals in question vary wildly.

So how many, exactly?

Pushing 300. I’m not done yet.

Have you written all the forthcoming posts already?

No, I only start working on an entry after I’ve posted the previous one. What I think I might write in a future post is liable to change by the time its turn comes.

Don’t you feel kind of uncomfortable talking about some of this stuff?

Yes! But I enjoy the challenge.

Why are you taking so goddamn long to update lately?

Honestly? I haven’t been in the mood for a while. There are more stories to write here, and I haven’t decided to give up the project altogether, but it’s not a priority for me right now. Instead, I’m more focused on other writing projects. If you want to see how things turn out here, I guess you could subscribe.

I’ve kissed you. Should I be worried?

No. Everybody here is referred to by their placement on the list as opposed to by a name or pseudonym. And I am not going to tell your secrets.

Did you kiss me just so you’d have something to write about?

Oh HELL no.

I’ve kissed you, you’ve written about it, and I don’t agree with your version of events. What do I do about it?

If you are concerned about potentially identifying features, let me know and I will modify it. Other than that, just bear in mind that this blog is entirely subjective. It’s not you, it’s me, you know?

Can I earn myself a place in this blog by kissing you?

Technically yes, but that’s likely to make for a rubbish story, so I don’t advise it if that’s your main motivation to kiss me. Although, if it’s a slow night, go ahead and try your luck.

I was interested in kissing you, but then I read this blog and changed my mind.


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