I totally had a crush on #191‘s then-girlfriend. I mean, I probably still do, as well, only I haven’t seen her for ages. Anyway, they were non-monogamous, so that side of things was arguably okay, but there was no way in hell I was going to make a move, because I was just sort of in awe of her and couldn’t begin to imagine doing anything about it. So, as per usual, alcohol eventually stepped in and attempted to sort things out.
I’d gone round to her place and #191 gave us both haircuts. I drank a metric fuckton of red wine and the three of us headed to a vegan sushi dinner party. Most of the other guests seemed to be straight scientists and I attempted conversation with a couple of them but it just wasn’t working out, so I contented myself with doing suave things like trying to pour myself more wine with the lid still on the bottle.
After that, well, we pretty much have to rely on #191’s account. Apparently, I’d kept burbling at her BLAH BLAH BLAH I HAVE SUCH A CRUSH ON #200 IS THAT OKAY and she was all, predictably, GOD! YES! JUST MAKE OUT WITH HER ALREADY! The three of us eventually decided to leave, and in the stairwell #191 realised she had forgotten her scarf so she returned to the party, where she pushed #201 (do you see where this is going?) against the wall and made out with her. Meanwhile I got to make out with #200, except I don’t remember any of it, which is disappointing. And apparently I asked her to come home with me, which she declined. #191 returned and suddenly I was all I’M GOING TO STAY HERE AFTER ALL SEEYA and vanished back into the flat. Like I say, fucking suave.